1. When you have a big dog, let him sit in your favorite chair. If you refuse him this honor, he’ll do it anyway.
2. Use your dog to attract the opposite sex. Most people will be curious about your dog, and eventually, they will notice you.
3. Put a saddle on his back, and let your pet monkey ride on top of him. You will attract spectators, but you will also get offers to join the circus. If you are really lucky, you may even get your own reality TV show.
4. On Halloween, wear a ripped shirt with fake blood on it. If people ask you what your Halloween character is say: “A VICTIM”, then nod and turn your head toward your dog. (You will either get a laugh or a scream.)
5. On Christmas put fake antlers on your dog. Have him pull a little wooden sled with toys inside. When kids ask what you are doing, tell them: “Santa’s Reindeer are on strike, this is all they had left!” Then… hand the kids toys. (You will be the most popular guy on your block!)
P.S. If you are sane, you won’t do any of this, just spend time enjoying your beloved pet!!