STINKING SWAMP MAGIC (A fake Romance.)

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Romance VII

Lydia loved the swamp. Even though it reeked of methane, sulfur, and animal feces, Lydia called it home. If only she could meet the new guy two doors down…but her shy nature kept her from approaching the tall, dark, and handsome Mog Sperven. He was named after his grandpappy Fog Sperven, but his mom could never pronounce Fog, so he became Mog.

One day, after applying three coats of Ultra-Red Lip stick, putting on her best coat, (Made of pure Pole Cat fur), she made her way to the country market. The swamp was full of gases, and her eyes were burning with a sting that could only be described as vicious. The pain from the toxic fumes was affecting her brain, and soon she wandered off course. She knocked her head on a few low-hanging branches, before coming to rest under a mighty Oak Tree. She sighed once or twice, then passed out from oxygen deprivation.

When she awoke, she found herself in a strange place. She knew it wasn’t her home, because the house smelled like fresh lavender and happy unicorns. When she was able to focus her eyes, they fell upon the face of Mog Sperven. He was smiling down at her. She thought she may have died and gone to heaven. In reality, Mog thought she was so strange that he was actually holding back his laughter. He was amused by the skunk-coat wearing swamp Princess, nothing more. Rescuing her was only necessary, because he wanted her to be a participant in a Law Suit that would shut down the Government owned swamp Land. Theirs, was NOT a match made in heaven.

-The End?-

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